I cannot believe it’s been thirteen years since Cathy was possessed by the demon Pazuzu.
It was Halloween, 2003 and the day began routinely enough. Cathy was consulting her Ouji Board and color wheel for help choosing an outfit to wear to work that day and I was preparing breakfast for the children.
I had just reheated a corn dog for little Augie and poured a bowl of Sugar Coated Sullen-O’s (A Taste of Angst in Every Bite!) for our fifteen year old daughter Milquetoast.
I nearly dropped young Augie’s sippy cup of Mountain Dew at the sound from the bathroom of a feral yelp and a splatter.
I sprang from the kitchen to see what was the matter!
Again from the bathroom a thud and a crash, I kicked open the door with my feet really fast!
A yellowish mist hung in the air, the room smelled of sulfur, a whiff of burned hair..
A lustre of amber lit objects below, Cathy stuck in the toilet, her butt in the bowl.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, the toilet seat up, potty water soaking her rear!
Her eyes glowed red, as I attempted to break the vacuum seal that held her fast in the commode. I managed to manipulate a spatula between her tush and the porcelain, not unlike a shoehorn and the seal was violated with a moist shlurp.
“You left the seat up” Cathy said, her voice deep and throaty, kind of like when she was in the mood for love, but this time more murdery..
Sorry hunny bunny! I said cheerfully. Hurry up! Don’t forget, you have to take the kids to school this morning because my online poker tournament starts in a bit.
Oh, and do you have any makeup that will cover all of those bright red splotches on your face? You kinda have a bit of a Bozo thing going on. Should I get the buckets lined up for the “Grand-Prize Game”?
Cathy looked marginally better as she skulked into the kitchen. She looked at the coffee maker and her head lowered oddly, lower even, than her sagging shoulders.
“Coffee?” She said, deeply.
Sorry snookie poo! I exclaimed cheerfully. I meant to pick some up yesterday but I blew all my allowance on Scratch-Offs and McRibs. You know McRibs only come once a year!
With her business-smart padded epaulets and her lowered head, she resembled a vulture on a limb, assessing a dried, worthless carcass.
Stop looking at me like that! I exclaimed.
Her eyes were cold and hot at the same time. Inside her eyes were madmen and circus clowns juggling knives and chainsaws. I dodged her glare, and for a second it missed me, passed through a window and struck the neighbor’s cat across the street, knocking it off the fence.
The room grew cold and took on the smell of a fish market that had been struck by lightning.
Augie took little notice as he had finished his corn dog and was trying to see how far he could maneuver the stick into his ear.
Milquetoast too was indifferent to the sudden mood change and looked toward her mother with eyes equally cold. She had been in a funk for a year or so and it had only gotten worse after her boyfriend left town, having enlisted in the witnesse protection program.
“Mom, I just remembered I have an assignment due today. It’s supposed to be a diorama of Susan B. Anthony voting or whatever so we have to go to the store and make it before school…”
“Wish I could help Pookie!” I said, bending over to peck Cathy on the cheek. “One more thing, I was using your work laptop to do some research on the cast of “Charmed” and for some reason the screen turned blue before I could clear the history, so before you judge, stay open minded!”
I’m not sure if Cathy was floating or if the house was sinking. The last thing I remember was her over me. Her maw was the doorway to a very bad place. Her hair was moving as flames do around a dry log and her nostrils were the chimney. The smell of ozone..
Darkness was closing in as she reached for me…
When I came to, I was in the yard, rake in hand. Cathy bounced out with a cold lemonade. “Hurry up Hunny Bunny” she said cheerfully. “I don’t want you working in the yard all day, it’s the 4th of July!”